6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
