we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
