Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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