I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
