I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize