we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
