1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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