Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
nutella sex= disaster
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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