Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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