I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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