When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
