Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
