..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
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We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
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I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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