I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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