when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
