dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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