he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
