I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
