She announced her abortion via fbk
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
