Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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