So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
