i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
that is very illegal...i love you.
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