did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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