I accidentally burped into my bong.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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