Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
