I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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