i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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