So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
