a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
