i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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