I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Alive.
So much puke
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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