why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
We don't watch enough power rangers
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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