I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im holly from the hills drunk
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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