sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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