so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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