I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
