K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
