i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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