Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
