Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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