Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
