I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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