I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
