Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
