youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
