dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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