I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
