Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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