and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
