Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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