Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
