my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm passing your future prison.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize