I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
