it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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