dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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