Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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