Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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