You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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