I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
So squirting runs in the family.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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