I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
