If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
