i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
