Buhtt sex?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
